Just…what?

My dream last night was rather abstract. Abstract, in this context, means fairly fucked up and leaving me wondering what the hell my brain is really up to these days. To keep things short - I was shopping for seashells with Amanda, an ex-boyfriend of mine and my dance teacher; Amanda took a safety pin and pierced the cartilage of my left ear with it, leaving it in somehow without me bleeding a red river, while my ex found great amusement in peering into a shell the size of his head and my dance teacher grew a second head. Just…what?

First reaction to the dream: It’s got to have something to do with Oedipus the King. Simply has to have something to do with it; I mean, I haven’t read anything else that’s violent and painful.

Second reaction to the dream: …oh, wait, no, Oedipus gouged his eyes out with his mother’s dress pins, he didn’t get a woman friend of his to give him a helix/cartilage piercing with a safety pin.

Third reaction to the dream: Why the hell does my left ear hurt? [I check my phone. I have a new message. Commence reading.] And why the bloody hell is my ex texting me to tell me he wants to go the beach?

Marvellous.

To sum the remainder of my otherwise routine life into a paragraph: School is looking up for a change, the State Championships for dancing are this Saturday (!!) and I’m severely unprepared, I saw Clone Wars and thought it sucked (animation ruins the entire Star Wars franchise, somehow), the Joker owns my soul and I’m going to get a haircut today - I’m going to inevitably look like a porcupine.

Posted on August 18th, 2008   |   Filed under General, Life, Random   |   6 Comments

How to win at looking like you’re bored shitless in lectures

Dear W. Mind,

Australian history, despite the fact that I live in Australia, is redundant crap, and nobody should be subjected to learning about it. Ever. It has no merits whatsoever, and there is no redeeming aspect of this particular subject which can override that fact. My lecturer may be gay (no, really) and awesome, but even he fails at trying to make the subject matter sound at all intriguing.

How oh how shall I remedy this? My friend, who is also bored out of her mind, would like to be in on the answer to this question.

From,
Shitted Up the Wall.

Dear Shitted Up the Wall,

The best thing I can recommend at this point is to take your lecture notes and scribble obscene, highly profane references from two Youtube videos all across it. Clips concerning shoes and tops are particularly popular. It is also advisable to spend a good ten (no more, no less) minutes producing a very detailed representation of a tree.

Your lecturer will not notice this taking place if you devise ways to make the exchange of paper between hands look subtle and borderline unnoticeable. This may also go for any other classes you find boring. Please find a visual demonstration of this process below.

From,
W. Mind.

Posted on April 10th, 2008   |   Filed under Fun, Random, Work & Uni   |   5 Comments